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 How to help someone with an eating disorder By Chene Walz It can be difficult to recognize when a person has an eating disorder in part because we live in a society obsessed with thinness and dieting. Some sources state that with all of the distorted images of body size in the media, it is normal for a person in our culture to have an unhealthy body image. Consider these statistics: The average American model is 5-feet-11-inches tall and weighs 117 pounds, while the average American woman is 5-feet-4-inches tall and weighs 140 pounds. Most fashion models are thinner than 98 percent of American women. The life of a person with an eating disorder is hyper-focused around food and weight. Some people excessively restrict food intake while others binge and then may engage in some form of purging. Eating disorders have an impact on the whole person, mentally, physically, socially and spiritually. They may develop as a means of coping with conflict and stress and may also be a means of expressing control when the person feels no control elsewhere. The following tips about helping friends and loved ones are based on information from the Renfrew Center (www.renfrewcenter.com), which provides education, prevention, research and treatment for eating disorders. Do
• Be aware that eating disorders can be fatal and should be treated correspondingly. • Practice active listening with respect and compassion. • Communicate your caring and concern and desire to help. Recommend the person seek assistance from a professional, such as a physician and/or counselor. • Talk about feelings and focus on other topics not related to food, body size or exercise. • Be accessible for talking.
• Don’t be responsible for “fixing it.” Have a physician and/or therapist provide treatment. • Don’t blame the person or tell her she is acting “crazy” or “silly.” • Don’t focus on food, body size, exercise or eating habits. • Don’t make statements about the person’s appearance. The person may hear statements about weight loss as complimentary (even when you think the person is too thin) and weight gain as criticism (even when you think the person needs to gain weight). • Don’t be fearful of distressing the person. Talk openly about your concerns. • Don’t abandon or judge the person. • Don’t argue over eating habits or other symptoms. • Don’t buy into the person’s rationalizations. Walz is a counselor in the health and wellness department. |
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